Figuring out ... ME

Back in June when I hurt myself again, I wasn't mad. I was disappointed.

But when the comeback seemed to be going well again, I wasn't happy. I was uncomfortable.

I had gotten used to doing "other" things and running was cutting into those things. I wanted to lift weights more. I wanted to bike more. But I forced runs in because I had signed up for fall races.

When I was in pain, again, a few weeks ago, I kind of felt ... relieved. I could focus on the other things and also spend more time THINKING about how I want to restart running and just have that be part of a regular routine. 

After pretty much deciding to take the month off with running, I found myself actually WANTING to run again yesterday, so I ran a mile.

There was no pain. There was no feeling uncomfortable. There was no feeling overwhelmed by the starting over process.

For the first time in this cycle of injuries in the past year, I felt like I could finally let my past running self go and REALLY start over. 

It's now been nearly 550 days since my last race. My old PRs are just that ... old. They're not me anymore. They're just part of me. Perhaps one day I will be "fast" again -- maybe even faster -- but I don't care about trying to get back to those points now.

I just want to be ME and do whatever it takes to be in excellent shape. 

The other things have helped and have been a huge part of a new me since June. Now I just have to gradually work running into this routine and be a better me.